I’m Trying to Be Perfect Again.

A poem, in 25 minutes.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

I’m trying to be perfect again. It’s aspirational. it’s good to try,

except

can I accept, the imperfection, the flawed attempts?

I’m trying to be perfect again.

Which means: having something to say

and saying it well

and in the right way.

(except -

idontknow.idontknow.it’snotdone.

I’mtrying,fuckthetrying

callitquits itsshit its

thirteen more minutes. keepongoing. go on.

on to the next word. the next phrase. the next thought.

i don’t know what I am saying. so what.

nine more minutes. this is practice. this is learning. this is life.

imperfectly in process. imperfectly in form. it doesn’t have to rhyme.

i ate too much cake again. i made a mistake again. i procrastinated and watched dumb tv tilfour am again.

i had no control, no discipline or common sense again.

these things happen, but i will not let that cause me shame again.

I was trying to be perfect. It’s insatiable

that desire to do it all.

except

i will accept

that the trying is enough.

and i’m learning (slowly learning)

to simply keep on

showing up.

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Yael Shira

Yael Shira

Channeling the chaos of #chronicillness toward creative living. I write (daily?), in 25-minutes spurts. Here to celebrate the process, and the practice.