Messages From The BodyMind

About growth and change, written in prose-poetry. It’s honest and unfiltered (and a little rambly).

Photo by Drew Farwell on Unsplash

Oh.

I didn’t know.

That growth would be so clumsy, that I would feel so mistaken.

Adolescent and in process,

kind of awkward and misshapen.

I guess this is transition,

(it’s a process)

it’s maturation.

I leave voice messages to friends

saying: listen, I have hips!, and my body shape is shifting.

I have responsibilities and commitments

I need to make some life decisions.

I feel love that’s unrequited

I feel wanting that’s too big.

I feel feelings feel feel feelings,

writing feelings feeling writing

writing sharing writing online

it’s

(I don’t know).

I’m looking for distractions

I’m looking for redemption

I’m craving satisfaction

I’m experiencing contention

it’s the mind it won’t be quiet

it was quiet for so long

it was sleeping, somewhat dormant

it’s awake and kind of uneasy

it’s searching for confirmation

that the things I do are pleasing

it’s needing validation

notifications, yes more please

it’s long form words, free-writing

Wait.

the rhythm wants to change, to something smoother and slower and drifting like waves. Relax and soften, it’s safe to be here, I’m okay. I’m I-don’t-know, I’m going crazy, I’m tired, let me be. In the morning when I wake up I will go straight to the sea. I’ll watch the waters glow with morning and see the joggers running steady. I’ll drink tea and bring my journal and then in my own way I’ll get ready, ready, ready, ready for the day ahead, the best day of my life.

Okay.

This was something.

This was words, words on a page.

This was rambles, is still rambles, is still going, is

Enough.

Enough.

There’s no more right now to say.

Except thank you, always thank you,

for showing up again today.

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Channeling the chaos of #chronicillness toward creative living. I write (daily?), in 25-minutes spurts. Here to celebrate the process, and the practice.

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Yael Shira

Yael Shira

Channeling the chaos of #chronicillness toward creative living. I write (daily?), in 25-minutes spurts. Here to celebrate the process, and the practice.

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